please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
