I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
