I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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