TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize