Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
