Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
worst night to have a conscience
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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