how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
