wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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