one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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