I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
