4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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