Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
