Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
