Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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