...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
