Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
