Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
