What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize