all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
