did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
