Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So apparently I’m into choking now
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