nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize