ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Less talking, more tequila
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
