I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
