No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
