with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
