Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
