hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize