is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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