does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
