I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
