ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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