everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
