Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
