I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize