Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
