whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
