No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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