i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
