hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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