Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
