Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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