i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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