you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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