Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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