New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
