I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
