If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
