I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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