am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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