Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize