fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
