did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
