And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
