Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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