soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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