just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
