the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
