I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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