Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
