This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When are your genitals available?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
