we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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