This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize