Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just high enough for therapy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
