it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
