What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize