Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
