Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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