I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
