she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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