we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
