drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize