We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
