I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ugly people sure do ruin things
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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