How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
