Sponge bath it is.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
